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  • Writer's pictureRadiantDarkness

These are My Twisted Words

These are my Twisted words

The conversation started with normal formalities but quickly transitioned into utter miscommunication and bewilderment. We weren't supposed to talk for a while. Our barrier of communication had been breached. There was a lack of understanding of why I needed space and didn't want to talk or see her for a while. My words were being twisted in ways that took them further from their original intent. I couldn't be a part of her life anymore, at least not now.

The main aspects of the conversation delved deeper into myself, letting her know that I'm going to be okay. I'm going through everything people think I'm not. I am dealing with negativity quite clearly now, more so than ever before. I have surrendered a part of myself in order to blossom anew. The attempt is there to articulate this newfound knowledge, but I still hide behind the words. In the conversation, I stressed many times, maybe not directly, that this love inside is now freely flowing energy that comes in, goes out, and rounds about.

Adventure Pathway on the quest for transformation crossing the bridge of evolution, Ashcan School

The only reason it's so bright is that it had to overcome an all-encompassing dark shadow covering my soul. From the darkness, once confronted, once focused on directly, new feelings spawned of light and love. Luckily (or maybe unluckily), my life source was poisoned by the ones I loved the most. It buried me, once and for all. It's the only way I could truly awaken and feel again. The feelings were all perceived as negative in the beginning, going as low as I could go, stretching consciousness into the depths of hell.

For a while, how was I ever to break through the ego? It had been in creation for the last 25 years. It had suppressed the real me until this eclipse of surrendering. Through all of the ego, breaking out of shame, guilt, and pain emerged a human being, not wrapped in material love but a sparkling present that could be unwrapped into joy. These are my twisted words.

Freely flowing energy blossoming anew through exploration of the depths of hell, Relational Aesthetics

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