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  • Writer's pictureRadiantDarkness

Am I STILL Tripping???


The brief blips of normal consciousness were confusing and extremely uncomfortable, which was the vibe of everyone's energy around me. But when I would blip back, I would remember the awesome feeling we were all having, the positive energy, and all the experiences we had been through in those 5 hours I had embarked upon their trip. And I saw all this negativity and couldn't understand why, couldn't figure out what happened. But I had bugged out, lost touch with what was real. I was way up in cloud nine; my mind and spirit had left my body. It needed to go somewhere else; it needed to have that archaic revival, to see God and realize that God is all of us. He is within all of us. When I die, a part of God dies, a part of everyone dies. That goes for everyone.


That's the pain of our life. We can't live trying to avoid death; we can't live in fear of death. I stared death in the face, watched reactions to my own death, saw that "Jon Territo" was dead, understood the flow of life, and that there is a purpose to all life, and that purpose isn't just to eventually die. I didn't need to die if I chose not to. It wasn't my time. Then I would blip back to consciousness within my body. I was sweating on the couch, it was quiet, and I didn't hear the fish tank. No birds were moving above my head, but I was alive though. I could still see that I was there. I wasn't an immortal that had fallen when his love had turned him upside down, from positive to negative, loving to dying, strong to fragile. I was human; I had a job, family, and friends, but I would still delve right back to a different consciousness. I would go back to the land of revival, the land of the past, flip to the future, and I could walk across the time continuum.


Where was the best place in the world to go? Why the images on the Sphinx? Why was I feeling like Father Psychology? Why did I feel like I needed to still awaken a part of me? This was a true teaching of psychology, that's why. This was looking into the deepest part of consciousness, going past consciousness, leaving myself because my body was a reminder of how hurt my ego had been. My ego and body had run my life, and now my mind and spirit needed to leave that temporarily. It had to get away; it was being poisoned again. I could have gone back. My body did go back; it was flooded with past mistakes. Luckily for me, I was gone. Unfortunately, everyone else had to deal with it. She had to see me inside out, see that I was a positive flow of energy on the outside, a negative pit of disillusion on the inside. I had a psychotic break, but I'm not scared. I needed to be slapped in the face by Father Time, Lady Death, and Cousin Space. I needed to lose reality to gain reality. I am being forced to change my way of thinking, my way of life. I was succeeding, but I wasn't being completely honest. I was still recovering inside. I obviously shouldn't have taken mushrooms, but life is going through obstacles, and it's an obstacle I'm glad I wrapped my mind and spirit around for a little bit. I needed it for myself, I guess I needed everyone to know it was killing me. I was dying. My light was slowly fading into nothingness. The weight of all the actions was taking its toll. I was just trying to fight through that, but it just reared its ugly head stronger than we all thought was inside.

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