I had lit some incense labeled as "space" and went into a dream that resembled the unconscious playing out a dramatic tragedy. My feelings and emotions were in full technicolor. The most striking image was four of us being in an interlocking circle with everyone sending vibrations of love to each other, but somehow I was excluded. I was on the outside of the circle, and even though I couldn't see tears in the dream, I felt like I was crying. There was this extreme and uncontrollable emptiness forming. Even though I have progressed, I still look for love in all the wrong directions. I am surely changing, so what is happening is my old habits keep bubbling to the surface, whether I am awake or dreaming, so I can see them without blinders.
My soul has opened, and I've realized how important it is to explore that avenue. Whether you want to call it God, higher self, or any other names, it need not matter. It only matters that I am taking the time to explore the inner workings of who I am and how I came to be, on an individual and cosmic level. God is important. I am important. Understanding that I am united with God is equally as important. Even though I separate the two, I'm understanding the importance of bringing them together. The world, in whatever form necessary for the aspirant, will throw positives and negatives at the soul. I need to stop labeling the experience, embrace them, understand where the feelings arise out of, how to cope, how to transform them, which in turn should help build a better body, mind, and heart. If I simply let these experiences become lost in limbo, then I become lost at sea without a compass. I may even forget what happened, and then it becomes repressed, which, if left unkempt, can build a wall so high that I won't be able to see myself again. I'll become buried by the past without the present in sight.
I still feel "negativity." I'm cognizant of the fact that that's how I label it, but it's hard to release that bond of interpretation. If the issue was completely resolved, my heart would be able to feel that. I don't feel anything. Deceit isn't a positive feeling. It doesn't spawn positive emotions. It is dishonorable and undignified. If you take all the participants out of it, deceiving yourself is a heinous act. If you can put yourself in my shoes, would you be able to handle the situation differently? Would you accept deceit as defeat? I think not. I will not lose this battle, nor the war.
When you achieve higher states of consciousness, whatever the means, transcendence happens naturally and effortlessly. You elevate beyond your wildest dreams. Your imagination powerfully paints an invigorating, inspirational, and mind-blowing landscape. You tap into a collective energy that flows between each of us. This powerful force comes from within us. This experience produces an influx of elevated emotions. This is where my focus should be. I oscillate between the emptiness of the past and the sheer power of the present moment. As I get stuck in the mud of the past, I get trapped in the emotions that are no longer. The longer I stay engaged with what was, the more confused my mind becomes. Even if it was the past, if I think it now, then my mind thinks that it is happening again. Instead of burdening myself with something that I can't change (the past), why not engage in figuring out how to crack my third eye open, sending all of my love out into the world, and being able to feel love through all aspects of my body? Not just through the eye but through my fingertips, my palms, my feet, my heart, my mind. Love is all-encompassing and unconditional. It's spread throughout the world.
So herein lies the problem. It's something that keeps eating away at me. I know you all feel this. I know that I know and that you know what Love is. Why are we so resistant to the expression nowadays? Individually, our knowledge is not the end-all-be-all truth. But here, together, we can enlighten the truth that we are. Don't you want to share experiences of transcendence with each other so we can all love again? I'm saying this to myself as much as you, but we need to abandon the conceptualization of who we think ourselves to be and emerge as being itself. There is a great power latent in all of us. We have to learn how to harness this gift and channel it into the natural flow of life.
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