Spider Mushrooms will Spin a Web upon your Soul

For whatever reason today, I remembered a part of the psychedelic journey that was a mixture of mushrooms and Salvia divinorum.

You remember the scene! That wasn't a dream! It was spider mushrooms!

My eldest brother's boisterous laughter awakened a dream state. I was no longer in a normal, waking state. I was immersed back into the psychedelia. In this remembrance, I was to recall a very integral lesson the medicine revealed.

This is how to understand the true essence of psychology. This is what makes love flow into the veins. The vision began with two people I love dearly but can't express my feelings to. The reason it pains me so much is because of how much I love them. Without love, there would be no pain. The opposites are working together to display this wondrous fluorescence. It's as simple as showing them my emotions. I would do anything for them, but I can't show them who I truly am right now. My mind kept trying to stray from this point. I keep trying to run away, even in my own visionary state. I kept guiding it right back. I need to see this. I need to learn control.

So I sat with myself, exposed through a flashback of sorts, focusing on the pain in order to understand the deep power of true love. I wouldn't really need to say any words. I can show anyone the sheer determination of love through the pain of the tears. I cry every time I think about it. It's a river of love. So to help others understand how much pain this has caused, the easiest way to express that is through tears. Maybe some of them are tears of joy too. Knowing that the worst is past and the future is bright. Love can't be turned off like a light. That's not true love.

If I can open my heart to family, to expose my deepest secret and tell them everything, the pain will immediately transform into love. They won't turn away from the pain, they will embrace it, and love will flourish. This is what the vision is showing in kaleidoscopes. This is how I can help others. To show them that walking into pain is the doorway to love. This can be elaborated into every single branch of psychology. When people don't love themselves inside, when they have no sense of self, their egos have taken over. They are now operating without a soul. They only care to feed their ego because it is their most precious creation.

Words flashed by in a bright neon sign as if I was in a cityscape of my own mind's creation. "Feed the Ego." "Capitalism is seductive." You can feed your ego anyway you want it to. The world will gladly oblige. It's as simple as that, unfortunately. You can bury yourself in excessive calories and not feed yourself fruitful knowledge. You can starve yourself of calories while also starving yourself of the necessary nutrients to satiate the soul. Capitalism provides images of models which create the improper impression on the ego. It creates a false idealization, and then your archetype becomes skewed in the wrong image. We then have expectations that aren't nurturing nor healthy. If we all live in cloud cuckoo land where we reach for obscene expectations that are fed by false beliefs/models of what inner love is, then our society is doomed to be a breeding ground of pain.

We fill our coffers of love with external love that is based on material wealth, things that haven't spawned internally, and we remain lost in a capitalistic disorientation. Now that love is broken, we become the perfect consumer. From head to toe, we try to fix ourselves in a way that the ego is only temporarily satisfied.

In my dream, everyone kept slapping me in the face. I could feel their anger in the strike. There were these sharp sounds that are impossible to describe. It was as if I was hearing my mind break. Each slap would break me. Why would these people I love keep hurting me like that? CRACK! It was quite a disturbing sound. They kept saying, "Use this to WAKE UP THE PSYCHOLOGY." This dark pain. It will lead you to the brightest love. It will enlighten you into being. Look me in the eyes and try not to cry. If you stare at my soul, tears you will know. This flowing pain could now be love because there is a greater understanding. There is now the propensity to speak the language of love.

You were with me the whole way through. I wrote this for you.